The Elastic Snapped

Ya’ know how you always get those emails that tell you to forward them to one million four hundred thirty-one thousand two hundred fifteen of your friends and relatives or the elastic in your panties will snap?  Well, I got one the other day, and decided it was just too ridiculous to forward to more than a few thousand people, and sure enough, I was in the laundry room last night, and the elastic snapped.  Good thing I was wearing jeans.

It reminded me of the night of Mike’s FFA award dinner.  We were all there.  Except for Gina and Don, who were both at UK.  But anyway, when we stood to salute the flag, my half slip decided that was the time to continue slipping.  Down around my ankles.  And being as graceful as a gazelle, of course I went face first into the salad.  The local farm news reporter was sitting beside me at the table, and my first thought was “what a way to make the news”.  He was nice enough to not mention it though, but he did help me out of the salad.  I kicked the slip under the table before stumbling out of the dining room to the ladies room to clean the dressing off my face.  Not one of my finer public moments.  It didn’t go completely unnoticed however.  On the way home Mike asked me what happened at our table that had everyone laughing.  His dad looked a bit funny, since he hadn’t noticed, and I tried to throw suspicion off myself by telling him some lady just had to make a pit stop during the pledge of allegiance.  Why is it the one time you don’t want to be recognized everyone in the room knows who you are?  He heard all about it at school the next day, except for the part about the half slip.  That is probably already rotted away in the land fill by now.

So, last night I got two loads of laundry finished.  Another three loads tonight and they will all be clean–until I change what I’m wearing now.  Sometimes I wish I could wear my robe down so I could wash everything else, and start over in the morning with a completely clean slate.  Of course, there would still be the p.j.’s and robe, but they don’t require daily changing and washing.  At least mine don’t.  I’m sure some people launder theirs on a daily basis, but I’m not one of them.  Half the time I fall asleep in my recliner still wearing my jeans and tee-shirt, so the pj’s don’t get worn that night.  And there are the nights I just can’t sleep, so why get ready for bed when I know it won’t do any good.

 I find all these cute things on Facebook and just HAVE to use them.  Especially the ones that hit so close to home.  Yeah, I’m crazy and I love it.  Life is so dull if you aren’t just a bit crazy.  Like going to K-Mart a few days ago.  I needed some ink cartridges for my printer, and decided to look at the marked down movies while I was in the area.  Just like the watermelons at Kroger, they are in a bin, and just like at Kroger, the bin got hung on my chair.  It wouldn’t fit thru the opening into the rest of the store though, so we were hung there for a while.  Wouldn’t have been so bad except a lady and her kid were standing there trying to get into the electronics department.  It always takes me longer to get the chair separated from things when I have an audience like that, and the kid was whining the entire time, so that slowed me down a lot more.

Maybe I’ll get my new chair sometime before Christmas.  “All I want for Christmas is a new power chair, a new power chair, a new power chair”.  Recognize the tune?  I should be wanting my two front teeth, but don’t need them, just the chair.

Well, I guess nobody gets everything they want.  So I’ll go read for a while, then take the rest of my laundry down and wash it all, and be done for the month.  Well, maybe for another week, since I don’t want to get so far behind again.

A.

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